No one wins in divorce….especially the children. Sadly however, it occurs everyday. Rules vary by state for grounds, procedures, child support calculation, etc. We recommend you seek legal advice and consult your state laws. Most states have .gov sites such as the one below which can provide useful information about the process and where to start.
http://www.tennesseeanytime.org/laws/family.html
Find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce
DivorceCare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Don’t go through separation or divorce alone. DivorceCare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable DivorceCare resources to help you deal with the pain of the past and look forward to rebuilding your life.
Find a Support Group near you. Click on find a group
Who Gets the Friends??
One of the hardest things you will ever have to experience in your life – mentally – emotional and physically is a divorce.
When you are going through a divorce it does strange things to you, your family and your friends. Not only do you fight over important things, like what is in the best interest of your children, but you also fight over the silly stuff like who gets the toaster. One thing that you might not think about is who gets the friends. Who would think that your life altering decision would influence your social life? It shouldn’t be that way, but in an odd way you are divorcing your friends too. Not only do you have to deal with the loss of your spouse, but now you have to deal with the loss of your friendships. You need to be prepared as this is a dilemma for everyone, and your friends will feel like they have to chose sides too – and most likely will go were their loyalties lie. Try not to take it personally if they don’t choose you.
When you’re married, most of your friends are married. When you are single, your dynamics don’t match theirs anymore. They might start acting strangely, distant; suddenly “not available” to hang out or maybe they forget to invite you to that backyard BBQ. It just seems that they find it easier to just lose touch.
You’ll find out who your true friends are, and the people you thought would be by your side through thick and thin might not be. On the flip side the people who you thought would go running are your biggest support system. On a positive note, those friends may know other singles and divorcees and can help you redevelop your friendship circle.
Eventually, the shock will wear off as the new reality sets in. You will come to realize that there is life after divorce and will move forward with or without those old friends. You will pick up the pieces and trudge forward into single life making new friends as you go.
Be a good friend –
Recommended Read
From the Publisher
The Knowledge Every Man Needs for a Successful Divorce
Each year 500,000 men will face divorce, and most of them make at least one crucial—and often irreversible—mistake. These errors might seem minor, such as moving out while things get sorted out, or thinking of “temporary” orders as being truly temporary. But when they get to court, these men discover they have put themselves in a terrible position. They may have to give up their house, pay impossibly high alimony, or even lose custody.
You could be one of these men.
But you don’t have to be.
What to Expect When Your Parents Divorce
by Melissa Higgins
When your parents divorce, it can feel like the world turns upside down. What do you do? Whether you live mostly at mom’s or dad’s, this story can help you through the tough times.
Order your own copy click on the link Capstone
The Important Role of Dad
There is no doubt as to the importance of Dads. Read through some of these statistics we have provided for you and find out just how incredibly important the Dad’s role is for children to grow up to be well-adjusted adults. Kids with involved Dads do far better in every single measurable category, compared to kids whose Dads are not involved. Kids need their Dads.
Children with involved Fathers are more confident, better able to deal with frustration, better able to gain independence and their own identity, more likely to mature into compassionate adults, more likely to have a high self esteem, more sociable, more secure as infants, less likely to show signs of depression, less likely to commit suicide, more empathetic, boys have been shown to be less aggressive and adolescent girls are less likely to engage in sex.
63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. That’s 5 times the national average.
SOURCE: U.S. Dept of Health
90% of all runaways and homeless children are from fatherless homes. That’s 32 times the national average.
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes. 14 times the national average.
SOURCE: Justice and Behavior
85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.
SOURCE: Center for Disease Control
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 9 times the national average.
SOURCE: National Principals Association Report
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. 10 times the national average.
SOURCE: Rainbow’s for all God’s Children
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.
SOURCE: U.S. Dept. of Justice
Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.
91% of 701 fathers surveyed by the University of Texas at Austin agreed that there is a “father-absence crisis in America.” What were the 4 major obstacles for fathers to overcome? 1) Work demands 2) The media 3) Pop Culture 4) Finances
Researchers of Columbia University found that children living in two-parent households with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Moreover, teens in single-mother households fared much worse. They had a 30% higher risk than those in all two-parent households.
“Without two parents, working together as a team, the child has more difficulty learning the combination of empathy, reciprocity, fairness and self-command that people ordinarily take for granted. If the child does not learn this at home, society will have to manage his behavior in some other way. He may have to be rehabilitated, incarcerated, or otherwise restrained. In this case, prisons will substitute for parents.”
SOURCE: Morse, Jennifer Roback. “Parents or Prisons.” Policy Review, 2003
Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
SOURCE: National Household Education Survey
Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
Even in high crime neighborhoods, 90% of children from stable 2 parent homes where the Father is involved do not become delinquents.
SOURCE: Development and Psychopathology 1993
Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.
SOURCE: Journal of Marriage and Family, 1994
article from Dadsworld.com